My blog

Blog update

2007-03-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers

WE have updatres our blog template and design. Hope you like the new design

Thanks

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2007-03-16T05:03:00.000-07:00

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Santa Banta jokes

2007-03-02T06:06:00.000-08:00

Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to
tumhare liye.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi
zindagi hai.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe
ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name
from
NASA to SATYANASA

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon
ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay
9am-11am

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my
hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head.
Is he crying?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated...

drank poison & said,

Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha
set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith,
car mein chalaoonga!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India
Radio!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye
karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein
harz
hi
kya hai ?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja
rahi
ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha
hai.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
********* ********* *

************ ********* ********* ****

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:
Because they
advertised: 'Free Delivery'

LinkVestor

2007-03-01T06:22:00.000-08:00

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LinkVestor is the only site on the internet that currently provides link investment. This site is created by KC TAN who also owns the popular Free SEO and CSS Templates sites.

New design

2007-02-23T06:47:00.000-08:00

hi

i have improved the design of my blog. comments on this new design are welcome !!

champrock

lallo in heaven

2006-04-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

LALOO DIED!
Rabri (his wife) was very worried whether Laloo would be able to
make it to heaven, so she decided to try & contact his spirit by
having a seance. (black magic used to contact the dead). Sure
enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling
to the spirits, Laloo's voice was heard answering,

"Helloooooooo Rabri, this is meeee..."

"Oh dear Lalooji," she answered. "I just need to know if you're
happy there in your after-life. What's it like there?"

"Oooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Laloo
answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures
are much more lush and green than I ever expected .... and, above
all, there are no scams! And the only thing we do, all day long,
are, eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."

"Thank God, you reached heaven," his Rabri cried, wiping some tears.
<
<
<
<
<
<

<
<
<
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm reborn..... "I'm a buffalo
in
Switzerland"........................

Laugh Riot

2006-04-11T01:59:00.000-07:00

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman ....you have only 2 eyes
but you sight every woman. Now who is Ravan?

****************************
Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without
brain. Please tell them your age!

****************************
Mistakes are not crime......if you correct them they are the key of
success. FOR EXAMPLE....God created you ......He then created me.

****************************
Munna bhai: agar bina daton ka kuta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: simple, bina sui ke injection lena chahiye.

****************************
Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai. Kanjoos:
10 rupaye dunga, pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.

****************************
Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 male se gir gaya tha.
Banta: to fir bach gaya ya mar gaya?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.

****************************
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone chhupa
de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pahechan lega.

****************************
In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.

****************************
INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught
fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.

****************************
Sardar starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this
oil? Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this.
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.

****************************
Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha.
Baap ne puchha "kya kar rahe ho?"
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

****************************
Two Sardars were walking together.
1st Sardar: Yaar mar gaya , meri biwi aur premika saath aa rahi hain.
2nd Sardar: oye, main bhi yehi bol raha tha.

****************************
PAPAD aur JAPAD mein kya farak hai.
Khake dekho pata chal jayega.

Sardarji

2006-04-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon". The other sardar replies "Kamaal

Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table. The guest asked what is this? The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning becomes tight"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He is thinking for a novel idea. He thinks a lot and finally he did one thing, he bought the ticket and didn't travel.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****). The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the height of stupidity?

2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat

----------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------

Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl! So girl shouted, 'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!' And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with two men ahead of him. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked and was handed a ticket. Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!' 'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk. 'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaj Tak gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to him and asks, "Sardarji how did it happen?" Sardar: "Oh ji pucho mat. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi."

Aaj tak: "Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode."

Sardar: "oe nahin ji main to suicide karne ke liye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya."

plz read them all its amazing

2006-04-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

Question: An elephant was in love with a
she-elephant.
But the she-elephant went and got married to some
other elephant. So our elephant was very Depressed.
One of his friends felt sorry for him, and took him
to
a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a
see-saw, but the see-saw broke. Now, which song
would
our hero sing?

Ans: "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai."

Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in
love
with each other and want to get married, but
cannot.
Why?

Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is
illegal.

Question: One fine morning, Ravan felt guilty day
for
all his bad deeds. He felt that he should go an
apologise to Ram for all the problems he had
caused.
So he went to Ram's house and knocked on the door.
Ram
opened the door and was surprised to find Ravan
standing there. Ravan just kept staring and
thinking
but didn't say a word. What was he thinking?
Ans: "Kis mooh se maafi maangoon?"

Question: How do you "cut" roads?

Ans: By laughing... because "Haste haste cut jaye
raaste".

Question: Luv and Kush are going to a village and
pass
by a well. Luv falls into the well. Why?

Ans: Because Luv is blind.

Question: Now, Kush also jumps in. Why?

Ans: Because Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!

Question: Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya
hai?...........

...........

.........Socho, socho. Nahi pata?

Ans: D'Cold; Because... Chan ki saans - D'Cold

Question: Chalo ab batao, Jackie Chan ki bahu ka
naam
kya hai? ..........

.............
This one's really simple...

Ans: D'Cold again... Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu
thi
:-)

A railway station beggar meets another beggar.A
software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?

"So, which platform are you working on?"

Question: What do you call a person who is leaving
India?

Ans: Hindustan Lever.

Question: What do you call a person who leaves
India,
but doesn't travel much?

Ans: Hindustan Lever Limited.

Question: In an elephant school, some loafer
elephants
were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female
elephant passes by. What do the loafer elephants
say
about her?

Ans: Look yaar, 36000 - 24000 - 36000!!

Question: Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha. Uska
naam kya tha?

Ans: Adidas.

Question: Prasad asks Kumble to bring a Pepsi.
Kumble
brings a bottle, but takes it directly to
Tendulkar.
Why?

Ans: Because Tendulkar is an opener.

Question: What is the similarity between
Satynarayan
pooja and the Indian cricket team?

Ans: Dono ke ant me "Prasad" aataa hai.

Question: Who is Joe?

Ans: Kambakth ishq... Because "Kambakth ishq hai
Joe!"

Question: The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie
"my heart is an umbrella'. Which movie did he
really
want to see?

Ans: Dil Chhaata Hai.

these will make u fall off ur chair!!

Woh kaun sa hindi geet hai jis main "Internet
Explorer" ka zikar kiya gaya
hai???

Hint: The heroine also refers to herself as
InternetExplorer.

If you don't know...

Scroll down for the answer...
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>Scroll further down
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>A bit more
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
The answer is... Maine Pyar Kiya.

And the song goes....

Aajaa shaam hone IE (Internet Explorer)
Mausam ne lee angada IE
To kis baat ki hai lada IE
Tu chal........ Main IE !!!
>
>
>
>
>
Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :
Phulwa,RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and
RaamChuri
were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden,
Phulwa
started to sing a song. the moment Phulwa stopped
singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri
and
RaamChuri fell down
from the wall !!!...
WHY ???
scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . .

>
>
>
>
>
> >>>.
> >>>.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> not getting, very simple yaar..
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> coz, they all started clapping !!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Ek Aur
>
> PJ Isse kehte hain.........
>
Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke
baad use
bhookh lagti hai. so he goes to the canteen.
canteen
mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav
khane ke
liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
"jannat" likha hai.

To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska
lecture attend karke aa raha hai, us proffessor
ka
naam kya hai???
guess
scroll down for the answer
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>..
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>
The answer is

Ishq Ki Chhaon.

Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....

Don't scratch ur head this is a song from film
"Dil
> >>>Se"
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>One More
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
....and the Answer is..........
>
>
>
>>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>> >>>
> >>>
>
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.Scroll down.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
>
> >>>..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.Just One Scroll ..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
>
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
HASINA !

PS: hottest pie in the town

This one will make u mad..........

Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven............
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........
He is supposed to count upto 100
...and then start searching.....
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it rightin front of Einstein...........
Einsteins counting......
97,98,99.....

100........
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........
Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims tht he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out and he proves tht he is not newton..........
how.................
> >>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>scroll down.........
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>....scroll down......... further..............
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>.......
> >>>
> >>>.............
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>...................Scroll little......
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>His proof:
> >>>
> >>>Newton says:
> >>>I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
> >>>That means i am Newton per meter square......
> >>>Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter
square =Pascal

little boy letter to god

2006-03-29T05:58:00.000-08:00

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks,

But nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to
God, India,they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.

The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.
The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Minister in Delhi,and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes..

Did u find anything...??

2006-03-29T01:12:00.000-08:00

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.

Bill: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me.

He takes him to a forest.

Bill: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it. Bill: more...more...more... Sardarji went up to 100 feet. Bill: So now, try to search something. Sardarji: I got a wire. Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.

Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was in India

Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he takes Bill to a forest. Sardarji : Dig it. Bill does. Sardarji : more...more...more... Bill goes up to almost 400 feet.. Sardarji : try to find something. Bill tries. Sardarji : Did you get anything? Bill : No, there is nothing here.

Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!!

Shocking answers by sardarji..

2006-03-29T01:09:00.000-08:00

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate

DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.

In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". 2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"

The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

DharamRaj lets him in without another word.

Sardar in the desert..

2006-03-29T01:05:00.000-08:00

A Sardar, a Japanese, and a Britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.

The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door.

After a while of walking the Britisher asked the Japanese, "I'm confused, why did you bring the Radiator?"

The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid." Next the sardar asked the Britisher, "Why did you bring the seat?"

So the Britisher said, "If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."

Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all I have to do is roll down the window."

Thats A Good Match..

2006-03-29T01:03:00.000-08:00

Once santa and his friend were sitting n smoking cigarette.. Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette.

The first match stick didnt light. He tried another, It wouldn't light.

Then his friend asked him whether he can help him to lite his cigarette, but santa wanted to lite the cigarette himself so he told no to his frnd and He again tried but he once again failed..

The fourth one finally lite. Then he lite his cigarette and carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket...

Santa's frnd was shocked to see that.. So he asked him "For what did you put that match stick in your vest pocket?"

Smart Santa replied: "That's a good match. I'll use it again buddy.."

Plz laugh if u like....

2006-03-29T00:51:00.000-08:00

Ek Larki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga Doosri Larki Ko Dekha To Vaisa Laga Jab Dono Ne Joote Maarey...To Ek Jaisa Laga!!! **** Zamane ke dar se teri tasweer toilet mein chupa rakhi hai! dedar ho tera bar bar isliye julab ki goli kha rakhi hai **** Woh Larki Kitni Pyaari Thi, Jis Ko Aankh Maari Thi Woh Sendal Kitni Bhaari Thi, Jo Us Ney Sar Per Maari Thi **** 1 barsat ki raat -ek bhigi ladki, -bhiga badan, -bhigi zulfe, -bhige hoth, -Hum dono ki nazare mili, -use dekhke aisa laga ki . . . Kal use 100 % sardi hogi! **** Pyar karnevale PARESAN ho jate he Shadi karnevale SHARABI ho jate he, Divorce denevale DEVDAS ho jate he, Ham se Dosti karnevale MSG SE MEHARBAN ho jate he **** Ek yug the jab log apne ghar ke dwar par likhte the "Atithi Devo Bhav". Phir likhne lage "Shubh Labh" Phir "U R WELCOME" Aur ab likthe hain "Kutton Se Saawdhaan"! **** Khat likh raha hoon khoon se, syahi mat samajhna. Khat likh raha hoon khoon se syahi mat samajhna. Kisi mariz ka sample liya tha, mera mat samajhna. **** D 1 who smokes,get a smoky heart. D 1 who drinks,get an alcoholic heart. So dear u must stop eating sweets, as u r already a sweet heart. **** wo shayad ab bhi hame chahte hain, tabhi to hame dekhkar yun muskurate hain. Ye to uske bacchhe hi kameene hain, jo hame MAMA-MAMA bulate hain! **** Shehar ki gali mein paan ki dukaan. Devdas ne dekhi paro ki muskaan. Devdas ne khilaya Paro ko paan. Khake paan Paro boli "Shukriya Bhai Jaan". **** I just met some1 in Cafe Coffee Day. Real good looking, dead smart,So delightful. More like a celebrity. As I walked nearer, DAMN SAINT GOBAIN mirror. It was me!! **** Maine tujhe dekha, Dekhta raha, Dekhta Raha Dekhta hi gaya , Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya **** Q.Why doesnt a donkey eat grass?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? A.Anyways...its ur personal matter & I should not interfere in it. **** Friendship is like FEVICOL - toote nahin Love is like cold drink -Ye Dil Maange More Girlfriend is like detergent - Pehle istemal karo phir vishwaas karo. **** D proffessor of a business school asks, "What is d most important source of finance for starting business?" A student replies,"Father-in-law" ****

English Like it UP

2006-03-28T03:33:00.000-08:00

English Like it UP

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is"UP." It is easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP . When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP . When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP . One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP ,

for now my time is UP ,

so........... it is Time to shut UP.....!

Santa Quiz

2006-03-26T10:37:00.000-08:00

Santa in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?

A) 116

B) 99

C) 100

D) 150

Santa says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?

A) BRASIL

B) CHILE

C) PANAMA

D) EQUADOR

Santa asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

A) JANUARY

B) SEPTEMBER

C) OCTOBER

D) NOVEMBER

Santa asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?

A) EDER

B) ALBERT

C) GEORGE

D) MANOEL

Santa asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:

A) CANARY BIRD

B) KANGAROO

C) PUPPY

D) RAT

Santa gives up.

If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Santa's

replies, then please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Santa or Banta again

How Business Is done

2006-03-25T20:54:00.000-08:00

Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son : "I will choose my own bride!" Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." Son : "Well, in that case...ok" Next Father approaches Bill Gates. Father: "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!" Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok" Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank. Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president." President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!" Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law." President: "Ah, in that case...ok" This is how business is done!!

Classic Cola

2006-03-24T02:47:00.000-08:00

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East
assignment. A friend of his asked him, \"Why weren\'t you successful with
the Arabs?\" The salesman explained, \"When I got posted in the Middle
East, I was very confident that I will make good sales pitch as Cola is
virtually unknown there. But, the only problem I faced was that I didn\'t
know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3
posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally
exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third,
our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all
over the place\"
\"That should have worked,\" said the friend.
The salesman replied, \"Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also
didn\'t realize that Arabs read from right to left...\"

P.U.S.H

2006-03-24T02:44:00.000-08:00

A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled
with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to
do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained
that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. So, this the
man did, day after day.

For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set
squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing
with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and
worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Since the man was showing discouragement, the adversary (Satan) decided to
enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: "You have been
pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved." Thus, he
gave
the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a
failure.
These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving
just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough." That's what the
weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a Matter of Prayer and to
take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

"Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting
all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time,
I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong?

Why am I failing? The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I
asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to
push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never
once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to
push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you
have failed. But, is that really so?

"Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and
brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have
become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your
abilities now surpass that which you used to have.

"True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and
to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have
done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock."

*At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect
to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just a simple
obedience and faith in Him.

By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is
still God who moves the mountains.**

When everything seems to go wrong .... just P.U.S.H.!

When the job gets you down ... just P.U.S.H.!

When people don't react the way you think they should .... just P.U.S.H.

When your money is "gone" and the bills are due ..... just P.U.S.H.!

When people just don't understand you .... just..

P.U.S.H.!

P= Pray
U= Until
S= Something
H= Happens

Who works for India

2006-03-24T02:43:00.001-08:00

The population of India is 100 crores.
100,000,00,000

But 19 crores are retired.
-19,000,00,000

That leaves 81 crores do the work.
81,000,00,000

There are 25 crores in school,
-25,000,00,000
which leaves 56 crores to do the work.
56,000,00,000

Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central
Govt,
-22,000,00,000

leaving 34 crores to do the work.
34,000,00,000

4 crores are in the Armed Forces,
-4,000,00,000
which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
30,000,00,0 00

Take away from above total the 20 crores people work
for State Governments
(State Government employees officially do not work!)
-20,000,00,000
and that leaves 10 crores to do the work.
10,000,00,000

Total unemployed are 8 crores
-8,000,00,000
and that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
2,000,00,000

At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in
hospitals,
-1,200,00,000
leaving 80 lakhs to do the work.
80,00,000 Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are 79,99,998
people in prisons throughout the country.
-79,99,998

That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......
2 You and me!!! And currently YOU are sitting at your computer
reading mails. So I am the only person in our country who is working! And
that's why India is surviving!!!

Air India

2006-03-24T02:43:00.000-08:00

Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to
Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane,
he made a few preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take orders for the
in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have
brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me
for food and drinks!"

So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the
uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal.
The man sitting next to him was an American history
researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse
me, what is that drink?" he asked.

The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and
said, "Milk of India!"

The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and
started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the
curious American.

"Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly.

Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered
some to the American.

"What is it?" asked the American.

"Sweet of India!" replied the old man.

After the meal, everyone was settling down when there
was a loud "Pooooooooot!" from the uncle.

"What was that?" asked the American in disgust.

The old man replied coolly, "That's Air India!"

Patel

2006-03-24T02:39:00.000-08:00

Patel was bragging to his boss one day," You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

"Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,

"OK, Patel how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Patel and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Patel! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Patel's boss is still sceptical.

After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Patel that he thinks Patel's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Patel says." President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Patel says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Patel on the White House tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Patel , what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Patel who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Patel . "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Patel and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Patel says," This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope. And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Patel emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Patel returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Patel asks him,

"what happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Patel?"

Height of Optimisim

2006-03-23T03:11:00.000-08:00

Littel birdy in the sky,you look up and it shits in u eyes

you don't mind and you don't cry,you just thank God that cows don't fly.

Real Nice jokes

2006-03-23T03:10:00.000-08:00

Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches
the heart, You are blessed with both!. FLATTERED?.
Don't Be, it was sent to me, I just wanted you to read
it.

*************************

Good morning...Have u done two of the most important
things when you wakeup today?

1)Pray, so that u may live...

2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!

*************************

Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof, roof,
loof, shoof,shoof,woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof,
hoof, woof, roof,shoof.Test results: U r a good dog.
Now stop barking.

************************

If u hide, i'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, i'll search 4
u. If u'll leave, i'll wait 4 u. If days take u away
4m me, i'll fight 4 u.

But, if u stop sending msgs, i'll kill you.

*************************

I saw something in a shop window. It was stunning,
cute, simply adorable. I was supposed 2 buy it 4 u,
then I realised it was my reflection.

*************************

To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception,
looks, IQ, knowledge, way of _____expression & many
more mental qualities.

Hats off 2 u coz u manage 2 live without them.

*************************

Once an angle came up to me & granted me a wish. I
asked for "world peace". That's impossible, he said.
Then I asked himto give u brains. He said "Let me try
world peace"

************************

Falling in love is a sweet ambition, finding true love
is a life time mission.. Take my word, follow the
Pakistani tradition & marry ur dad's ugly decision.

************************

From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my
death, my feelings for you have never changed. For me,
you've always been........... a headache !

*************************

1 day you'll Be srprised to see ME beside YOU. YOU &
ME laughing, YOU & ME crying, YOU & ME dreaming, YOU &
ME holding on, YOU & ME... just YOU & ME sitting in a
MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING YOU.

*************************

I cannot hide this from you any more. I don't want to
hurt you and I feel it's best if I tell u, before you
hear it from someone else

............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up !

*************************

If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this,
I'm still cute. If u fwd this, you are spreading that
i'm cute & if u erase this, you are jealous of me coz
i'm cute!

*************************

I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in
water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got
drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water
again !!!

************************

Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was
in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength
to make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS
TUBELIGHt

Real Nice jokes

2006-03-23T03:09:00.000-08:00

Sardarji jokes..!!

2006-03-23T03:06:00.001-08:00

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

THE BEST --

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec
a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been
promoted as branch manager."

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure
as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"

Sardarji jokes..!!

2006-03-23T03:06:00.000-08:00

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

THE BEST --

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec
a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been
promoted as branch manager."

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure
as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr
after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"

Sardarji jokes..!!

2006-03-23T03:04:00.000-08:00

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

THE BEST --

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec
a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been
promoted as branch manager."

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure
as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr
after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"

Some funy SMS!!!!!!!!

2006-03-23T03:01:00.000-08:00

1 -
Savan Aate hi
Murjaye Huwe
Phool Bhi Khil JaTe Hai ,
SMS Free Kya Hue
Aap Jaise Ullu Bhi
ShaYaR Ban Jate Hai

2-
Ankhiyon Se Ankhyian
Mila Meri Rani,
Teri Bayi Ankh Kani
Meri Dayi Ankh Kani

3-
Yu Toh Hum Hai bhaRamChaRi
Jaha Dekhi Nari
Waha Ankh Mari
Pat Gayi To HumaRi
Nahi To Fir
Banke Brahmchari
Next Ki Karte Hai TaiYaRi

4-
HuM dua Karte
Hai Khuda Se
Ki Wo Aap Jaise DOst
Aur Na BaNaYe,
ek Cartoon Jaise Cheez
Hai HaMaRe Pass,
Kahin Vo bhi Common
Na Ho JaYe

5-
Kash tum Waade
Apne Nibha Jate,
Kisi Surat Dil
Mera Behla Jaate,
Agar 10 Rupees Nahi
The 5 Rupees Wala
Chhota Coke Hi Pila Jaate

6-
Mangta Hoon Toh Deti
Nahi ho:
JAWAAB MERI BAAT KA
Deti Ho Toh Khada Ho Jata Hai
ROM ROM JAZBAAT KA
Kya bolti Ho Ke Dheere Se DaLo
BALON MEIN PHOOL GULAB KA

7-
Ankhon Mein Wahi Jaam Liye
Hothon Pe Wahi MusKaan Liye
Kaha Ja Rahi Ho JaneMan
Seene Pe Dairy Farm Liye!

8-
Mother - Do you Know The Meaning of Mangal Sutra
Daughter - Yes Mummy, Its a Licence to do Kama Sutra

Good looking kaun? charming kaun?
Dashing kaun? Famous kaun?
Woh aap to nahi.
Fir bacha kaun?

What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

Sharab Aisi Bimari Hai Jo Pure Samaj Ko Kharab Kar Deit Hai!!
To Aao Milkar Is Bimari Ko Khatam Kare
Ek Bottle Hum Khatam Kare, Aur Ek Bottle Tum!!

Boy to a dark girl: Kitni kali ho!
Girl: Isme tere baap ka kya jata hai!
Boy: Agar mere baap ka gaya hota to itni kaali nahi hoti

Application Form For "Lok Sabha Election

2006-03-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

1.Name of Candidate: _______________________

2.Present Address:
(i.)Name of Jail: _______________________
(ii.)Cell Number: _______________________

3.Political Party: _______________________ *List ONLY the Last Five
parties in Chronological (Order)

4.Sex: [ ]
A- Male
B- Female
C- Mayawati
D- Uma Bharathi

5.Nationality: [ ]
A- Italian
B- Indian

6.Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A- Defected
B- Expelled
C- Bought out
D- None of above
E- All of above

7.Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A- To make money
B- To escape court trial
C- To grossly misuse power
D- To serve the public
E- I have no clue
(Ifyou choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized
GovernmentPsychiatrist)

8.How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A- 1-2 yrs
B- 2-6yrs
C- 6-15yrs
D- 15+yrs

9.Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Useas many
Additional Sheets as you want)

10.How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ]
(Donot confuse with question 8)
A- 1-2 years
B- 2-6 years
C- 6-15 years
D- 15+years

11.Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A- Why not
B- Of Course
C- Definitely
D- I deny it all
E- I see a foreign hand.

12.What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A- 100-500 Crores
B- 500-1000 Crores
C- Overflow...
(Convertall your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)

13.Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind?
[]
A- No
B- No
C- No
D- No

14.Describe your achievements in space provided:
[_________]

Chilled Beer in Bihar

2006-03-22T10:08:00.000-08:00

Real Nice Punjabi Jokes

2006-03-22T08:50:00.000-08:00

1.
>        Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel
kyon
> dekhta rehta."
>     Sardar "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."
>
> 2.
>      4 hightech sardar inventions:
>        ---Waterproof towel
>        ---Solar powered torch
>        ---Book on how to read
>        ---Pedal powered wheel chair.
>
> 3.     Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess
> what
>      ---To avoid side effect!!!
>
> 4.     Sardar ke bagiche me bahut pedh the.
>       Sardar ne naukar se bola pedho ko pani dal.
>       Naukar bola "sahib barish ho rahi hai"
>       sardar : abe budhu chatri pakdke dal na".
>
> 5.
>    Man:sardarji where were u born?
>    sardarji: punjab.
>    man: which part.
>    Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in
punjab".
>
>
>    6 Lawyer to sardar: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke
>     Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab fir
gita
> pe haath.
>
>     7. Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha
>    "akal badhi ya bhais "
>    Sardar bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".
>
>     8. Why was sardarji writing the exam near the door bcoz it was an
> entrance exam.
>
>     9.
>    Banta's son:dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations
for
a
> swimming pool.
>    Banta: give him a glass of water.
>
>     10.
>    Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college.
>    Banta: really what is he studying?
>    santa: he is not studying they r studying him

Google Link Exchange/Swapping

2006-03-16T02:13:00.000-08:00

Google Link Exchange/Swapping: "This is a list of free blog directories to submit your blog to. Most require nothing in return. Thanks to Wayne for these links.

* Blog Submission: Free listing.
* Blogarama: Including a link will make you eligible for 'What's Cool' section. Listing is free.
* Blog Search Engine: Free listing.
* Blogwise: Free listing.
* Blog Universe: Free listing.
* Blogdex: Free listing.
* Globe of Blogs: Free listing."

template check

2006-03-13T06:21:00.000-08:00

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